Recipe: Sidecar Cocktail

Recipe: Sidecar Cocktail

The Sidecar cocktail is our featured cocktail in Episode 27 “Napoleon was a baby”. This classic cocktail is a favorite among the French, and be prepare to dole out some dough if you want to do it right.

1 1/2 oz. Cognac
3/4 oz. Cointreau
3/4 oz. Fresh Lemon Juice
Garnish: Orange peel and sugared rum (I forgot to rim the glass here)


  1. Coat the rim of a coupe glass with sugar and set aside.
  2. Add all ingredients into a shaker with ice and shake.
  3. Strain into the prepared glass.
  4. Garnish with an orange twist.

Recipe: Quarantine Cocktial

Recipe: Quarantine Cocktial

The Quarantine Cocktail is the featured cocktail in episode 26 “Ketchup is thick Kool-Aid”. We found this recipe thanks to the Cocktail Chemistry YouTube channel.

Quarantine Cocktail on Melissa’s messy desk while we recorded episode 26.


1.5oz (45ml) light rum

.25oz (7ml) gin

.25oz (7ml) dry vermouth

.25oz (7ml) orange juice

.50oz (15ml) lemon juice

.25oz (7ml) simple syrup

1 egg white

  1. Add all ingredients except egg white to a shaker tin with ice
  2. Shake for 15 seconds
  3. Double strain back into shaker tin
  4. Add egg white and dry shake for 15 seconds
  5. Pour into chilled coupe glass
Recipe: All-American Dumpster Fire Punch

Recipe: All-American Dumpster Fire Punch

The All-American Dumpster Fire Punch is the featured cocktail in Episode 25 “Diners, Drive-Ins, and All-American Dumpster Fires” aka “Diners and American Politics”. This drink is a crowd-pleaser that can be altered to fit your specific guests’ tastes. Make a big batch and be sure to serve it in red solo cups. It’s the American way!

This recipe serves to, be sure to scale as appropriate. Be careful with this one. It will knock you on your ass and not even help with the medical bills (just like America)!

4 oz. White Rum
4 oz. Vodka
2 oz. Blue Curacao
2 oz. Peach Schnapps
2 oz. Cranberry Juice
2 oz. Orange Juice
Sprite to top (alternatively, use soda water/seltzer if you think this will be too sweet, it was for me and soda water made all the difference)

Combine all ingredients, except the bubbly, in a pitcher or punch bowl. Distribute evenly in red solo cups. Top with Sprite.


Recipe: Mama Fuckin’ Lychee

Recipe: Mama Fuckin’ Lychee

Mama Fuckin’ Lychee is the featured cocktail of episode 24 “Melissa Made Herself a Margarita”. It is named in honor of Amanda Jacobson from the Wine and Crime podcast.

The recipe below differs slightly from the one made in the episode. I improved it by blending it with ice and removing the straining step.

2 oz. Rum (we used Appleton Estate)
1 oz. Cherry Brandy
1/2 oz. Fresh Lemon Juice
1/4-1/2 oz. Maraschino Liqueur (we used Luxardo)
1/4 oz. Lychee Syrup, if canned (if not canned use Agave)
3 Lychee Fruit
2 small handfuls of ice

Combine all ingredients in a high powered blender. Blend until smooth and pour into a glass. Garnish with a lychee fruit and maraschino cherry.

Recipe: Alaskan Iced Tea

Recipe: Alaskan Iced Tea

Move over Long Island, a new, highly alcoholic, iced tea is in town! The Alaskan Iced Tea is the featured cocktail in “Episode 23: Moose may not be viewed from an airplane” aka Alaskan Cuisine. We absolutely loved this cocktail. As I say on the show, I subbed out the sour mix (because EW) and added fresh lime and lemon juice. I also cut back on the blue curacao for my cocktail as I don’t like stuff that is too sweet. Aimee had the full sugar version and she loved it. Definitely recommend making this one!

Glass from Godinger. Straw from Surfside Sips.

2 oz. Blue Curacao (use 1 oz. if drink is too sweet)
1 oz. Fresh Lime Juice
1 oz. Fresh Lemon Juice
.5 oz. Gin
.5 oz. Rum
.5 oz. Vodka
Sprite or any lemon-lime soda

Combine all ingredients except for the soda in a shake with ice. Shake 8-10 seconds. Strain into a large Collin’s or hurricane style glass over ice. Top with Sprite. Enjoy!

Glass from Godinger. Straw from Surfside Sips.
Recipe: Bali Pimm’s

Recipe: Bali Pimm’s

The Bali Pimm’s cocktail is featured in Episode 22. I got the blueprint for this drink from an article about the best cocktails in Bali, Indonesia. This particular drink was invented and is served at the Potato Head Beach Club. The listing did not include the recipe, just the main ingredients. This is what I came up with and it was pretty heckin delicious.

Glass from Godinger. Straw from Surfside Sips.

1 oz. Pimm’s No 1
1 oz. Lemongrass Infused Gin
2 oz. Ginger Beer
2 oz. Pineapple Tepache
1 oz. Fresh Passion fruit, strained
1/4-1/2 oz. Simple Syrup (optional)
Tropical fruit and flowers to garnish

1. Combine Pimm’s, gin, passion fruit, and tepache (unless yours is very bubbly, then add when you add the ginger beer)
2. Shake with ice 8-10 seconds. Strain into Hurricane or Collin’s glass filled with crushed ice.
3. Top with ginger beer and garnish.

Recipe: Tepache

Recipe: Tepache

We utilize tepache in our drink for episode 22, the Bali Pimm’s. Tepache is a Mexican fermented pineapple beverage. It is sweetened with either piloncillo or brown sugar. This is a great way to dip your toes in the warm, funky waters of fermentation. It was super easy to do and is pretty delicious. It is traditionally served over ice or mixed with beer.

These are merely suggestions. A tepache really only need sugar and pineapple. The rest is up to you!

1-gallon water
1 large cone a piloncillo (about 1 lb., or 1 lb. brown sugar)
1 whole ripe fresh pineapple
1 cinnamon stick
2 in. chuck ginger
1-2 jalapenos

1. Heat water in a large pot until it boils. Take off the heat and add the sugar. Stir until dissolved.
2. Prep the pineapple. Cut the crown off and discard. Gently wash the outside of the pineapple to remove any dirt our bugs. If possible, get an organic pineapple and only briefly rinse off. There are good bacteria on the outside that will help with the fermentation, so we don’t want to wash all the off.
3. Cut the pineapple into chunks, with the peel on. Discard the core as it can make your tepache bitter.
4. Transfer the sugar water and all your ingredients into whatever vessel you will be doing the fermentation in. Stir to combine. Cover the container with a dishtowel, cheesecloth, loose lid, or fermentation lid. You want to protect it from anything getting in it, but you also want it to breath.
5. Wait 24 to 36 hours, and check. If you see frothy white foam on the surface of the liquid then you have fermentation! You can drink it as is or let it ferment another day or two. If you don’t see any white foam, cover it and leave for another 24 hours. The fermentation will vary based on a lot of different factors like sugar content, how ripe the pineapple was, temperature, and others.
6. Once you have reached your preferred level of fermentation, strain out the solids and transfer the liquid to its final receptacle and refrigerate.

Refrigerate tepache will keep for up to a month, and slowly continue to ferment. How long it keeps is really based on how funky you can handle your beverages. You can also bottle it in carbonation safe bottles and leave it at room temp to continue fermenting and get bubbly.

Before serving, take a test drink. Add more water or sugar to taste. Serve over ice, in beer, or in our case, a Bali Pimm’s cocktail!

Recipe: Bananas Foster Cocktail

Recipe: Bananas Foster Cocktail

The Bananas Foster cocktail is the featured drink for episode 21 “Adult Horse Girl Energy”. This cocktail was created by Johnny Swet at JIMMY at the James, New York City.
We recommend using a stronger banana liqueur like 99 Bananas or Tempus Fugit Crème de BANANE. We used a cheap banana liqueur and the banana flavor was completely lost in the cocktail. Live and learn!

2 oz. Aged Rum (we used Appleton Estate Reserve Blend because we are not made of money)
1 oz. Banana Liqueur
.5 oz. Lime Juice
1 tsp. Brown Sugar
2 thick banana chunks

1. Muddle the banana chunks with the brown sugar.
2. Add the remaining ingredients and shake with ice until cold.
3. Strain into a rocks glass with ice.
4. Garnish with a thick banana slice that has been sprinkled with sugar and caramelized with a torch.


Recipe: Black Tea-Port Milk Punch

Recipe: Black Tea-Port Milk Punch

Black Tea-Port Milk Punch is the featured beverage on our upcoming episode, Ep20 Paddy LuPony. This is a clarified milk punch and it was so much fun to make, and share with other people. The flavor of this is simply unbelievable. As I said on the episode, I finally understand what the word “unctuous” means!

1 cup whole milk
2 cups brewed black tea (we used English Breakfast for the episode, but Earl Grey is extremely delicious)
2/3 cup Batavia Arrack (or light rum)
2/3 cup ruby port
1/3 cup plus 4 teaspoons sugar
1/3 cup lemon juice

1. Place milk in 8-cup liquid measuring cup or large pitcher/bowl; set aside. In 4-cup liquid measuring cup or large bowl, whisk tea, Batavia Arrack, port, sugar, and lemon juice until sugar dissolves.

2. Pour tea mixture into milk (it’s very important to pour the punch mixture into the milk, and not vice versa). Gently stir curds with small spoon. Let sit for at least 30 minutes or cover and refrigerate for up to 24 hours.

3. Line fine-mesh strainer with cheese cloth and set over large measuring cup or bowl. Gently pour tea-milk mixture into cheese cloth and let drain. Drain strained punch mixture through curds in at least once more. Discard curds and cheese cloth.

4. Filter punch one more time through a clean coffee filter. This step takes a while. Try not to rush it!

5. Transfer clarified punch to lidded glass container and refrigerate until ready to serve. To serve, pour chilled punch into small glass with one large ice cube.

Recipe: Mulled Wine

Recipe: Mulled Wine

This mulled wine recipe is featured in Episode 19 “Everyone Hates Melissa”. It takes a little bit of time, but is super easy to throw together, and is super delicious. It’s also pretty easy to modify to your own liking.


1 (750-ml.) bottle red wine

1 c. apple cider

1 orange, caramelized, sliced into rounds, plus more for garnish

6 whole cloves

3 cinnamon sticks, plus more for garnish

3 star anise

1/4 c. honey

1/2 c. brandy


  1. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine all ingredients. Bring to a simmer not a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer gently over low heat for 10 minutes. 
  2. Serve warm and garnish with more citrus slices and cinnamon sticks.