In this episode we learn about the history of nutmeg and the Banda Islands in Indonesia. Per usual, white people show up and ruin everything. Unlike most of our stories, however, there’s a somewhat happy ending.
Melissa blows everyone’s mind in Episode 20 by introducing Aimee & Kate to Milk Punch and the process behind making it- a drink that sounds disgusting but is actually delicious. Aimee, meanwhile, shares the history of American Cheese, and a dish that sounds disgusting, and is disgusting: Cheese Supper Dish.
In this episode, Aimee and Kate are still salty over Melissa’s prank from our bonus episode (A Very Not Safe For Work Christmas). The two quickly forgive Melissa over several glasses of delicious mulled wine and Aimee fills everyone in on the history of advent calendars.
In this episode, Melissa mixes up the most delicious eggnog the dishes have ever tasted. Together, they explore the history of eggnog, and Aimee reveals what we all already knew–that the founding fathers were lushes. At some point Aimee starts an argument about human lactation. Promo for Boos and Spirits (you should check them out!) included during the break.
In this episode Melissa nd Aimee talk about the grosses things they’ve ever eaten. Aimee attempts to answer Melissa’s burning questions about Nazis, Fanta, and catastrophe water. Melissa mixes up a WW2 era cocktail called The Suffering Bastard, and both ladies bemoan Kate’s absence.
This vintage recipe was mentioned on Episode 08: Disgusting Salads, Depressing Times. This recipe originally appeared in Bright Spots For Wartime Meals – 66 Ration-Wise Recipes 1944
1 pkg Lime Jell-O
1 pint hot water
3 tbsp. vinegar
1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 cup sliced stuffed olives
1/2 cup sliced sweet pickles
1/4 cup diced celery, if desired
Dissolve Jell-O in hot water. Add vinegar and salt. Chill. When slightly thickened, add remaining ingredients. Turn into small individual molds. Chill until firm. Unmold. Serve with fish or meat. Makes 12 molds. Hospitality needn’t cost you much … either money or pints. Try some of these color-and-savor combinations, all made with food easy to get nowadays. They’ll prove to you and your friends that you can still do luscious entertaining in spite of shortages and rations. Say welcome in wartime!
If you’re looking for the perfect patriotic dishes for your 4th of July gathering, consider some of the comfort foods of the founding fathers and mothers of America. Like the presidential candidates of today, these men and women had strange tastes.
Comfort Food: Hoe Cakes
Everyone thinks of cherries when they think of George Washington–likely because of his infamous story of chopping down the cherry tree. Don’t let that anecdote fool you into thinking that cherries were Washington’s go-to comfort food. Instead, he preferred hoe cakes. This cross between corn bread and pancakes was the perfect comfort food for the aging president and his dentures.
Comfort Food: Milk Punch
Benjamin Franklin wasn’t just a father of America, he was a father of craft cocktails too. His favorite was called Milk Punch. Franklin’s knowledge of booze flowed over into what may be one of America’s first slang dictionaries, “The Drinker’s Dictionary,” making him America’s first food writer as well!
Comfort Food: Lettis Tart
This family recipe was passed down to Martha by way of a cookbook (that still survives to this day!) This simple recipe is essentially a sort of cabbage pie–simple ingredients that likely reminded her of her upbringing.
Comfort Food: Coffee
This ten-dollar-founding-father shared a comfort food with one of our current presidential candidates: coffee. This hot-blooded politician had all sorts of philosophies on the consumption of food (when to eat, how much, etc.) but he was a famous light-weight when it came to booze–which led John Adams to make fun of him even more by calling him a “insolent coxcomb.” When Adams needed some caloric comfort, he turned to a nice cup of joe.
Comfort Food: Hoppin’ John
Dolley Madison was not only a first lady, she was also a first foodie. She served as FLOTUS when her husband took office, but she also helped out widower president Jefferson. Her culinary talents were widely known, and one of her favorite dishes was Hoppin’ John.
Comfort Food: Chocolate Milk
As Jon Jay traveled, influencing early American diplomacy abroad, he always brought with him blocks of chocolate. He even wrote home to his dad in 1790, to share that he kept his chocolate close with him, “shaving or grating it into pots of milk.” I think we can all relate to needing a cup of chocolate milk when we’re missing home.
comfort food: vol au vent pastries
Although Madison’s wife was the real foodie, he liked to mix local cuisine with worldly delicacies. His daily go-to were local oysters harvested just miles form his expansive home, but whenever entertaining important guests, he’d make sure that his favorite vol au vent pastries were on the menu. These puff pastries could be filled with either sweet of savory flavors.
Comfort Food: Apple Pandowdy
Abigail knew how to take the local ingredients of New England and make them into something magical. A often-baked favorite in her household was Apple Pandowdy, a sweet sort of deconstructed apple pie. It was the perfect way to get you through the cold New England winters.
Comfort Food: Crème Brulee
This early epicurean loved French foods and even commanded his enslaved cook to travel with him to learn the ways of French cooking. His go-to comfort food was warm crème brulee topped with ice cream, something he fell in love with during his time in France working to gain allies for the revolution.
Recipe here for crème brulee
Jefferson’s ice cream recipe below.
Comfort Food: Ice Cream
Ice cream was a relatively new food in early American cuisine. Elizabeth was introduced to it by Thomas Jefferson at one of the most important dinner parties in American political history, and she later introduced George and Martha Washington to it.
Recipe for Jefferson’s Ice cream here.
Comfort Food: Turtle Soup
John Adams preferred New England staples for his day-to-day. In fact, most of his food was as bland as his politics. When Adams really wanted to go wild and celebrate, he’d ask Abigail to fix up some Turtle Soup. He loved it so much that early Americans considered it a Fourth of July staple.
PBS – What did the Founding Fathers Eat
Monticello – Jefferson’s Ice Cream
Smithsonian – Food of the American Revolution
Business Insider – Alexander Hamilton’s Daily Routine
The Daily Mail – Benjamin Franklin Created the Drinker’s Dictionary
HSP – The Martha Washington Cookbook
Ever want to know what really goes into the pink slime? Do terms like “emulsion” and “meat batter” pique your appetite? Have you ever wanted to see a sausage factory ( Get your minds out of the gutter). Well we scoured the internet (searched YouTube) for the best “how hot dogs are made” video and we’re here to share it with you. It’s gross. But you likely already knew that and don’t care. Enjoy those dogs on Fourth of July!
List to Episode 07: Cocktails for Hitler here where we dig into the patriotic (and German) heritage of the Hot Dog.
You may remember a promise in Episode 6 that Aimee was going to bake a Boston Cream Pie. And then, last week, we posted the recipe with another promise. This weekend, we had said, Aimee will make it. She’ll post photos! And then nothing.
Dear reader, I sprained my ankle last week which slowed me down a bit. And then, when I did set out to actually cook this damned thing, I messed up every step. Every single one. This is not an exaggeration. So we thought it would be fun for me to post the photos of what turned out to still be a delicious dessert, with an annotated version of the recipe marking all of the ways I fucked it up. You can still read the original recipe here. Please do not cook the recipe as it is below. You will fuck it up too. This one is purely a self-deprecating post. If you like it, we may make it a regular thing. I’m apt to fuck up future recipes too!
1. Separate the whites and yolks from two eggs. Put the whites into the mixer instead of the yolks, and whip those until they look like the foam forming around the mouth of a rabid dog. Add milk. Realize you fucked up. Pour out eggs and milk. Start over.
2. In a saucepan, throw literally all of the other ingredients, even ones you should wait on, into it, with the head on. Completely fucking forget to leave it off the heat at first. Whip for like 2 minutes and get bored. Walk away. Get distracted by your kids. Realize something is burning. Continue stiring it continuously until it thickens. Pour it into a fridge-safe container and ignore the burn bits of egg stuck to the bottom of the pan. Leave in there for 2 days because you are DONE with this recipe.
3. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Spray the shit out of a 9″ baking pan. Assume it is 9″ without measuring, then realize it is 8″ and grab the right sized one instead.
4. Mix all the ingredients except for the one fucking egg. Why? Because it’s the last listed ingredient you you’re bound to forget something. Pour the mixture into the greased cake pan. Place in oven for 2 minutes, and realized you fucked up. Pull the mixture. Add it back to the mixer. Add the egg. Mix. Regrease pan. Pour back into pan.
5. Pour yourself a drink.
6. Bake about 35 minutes, or until you realize you didn’t set a timer. Keep doing the toothpick test until it comes out clean.
6. Melt 3 tablespoons butter and the chocolate over low heat, stirring occasionally.
7. Forget to heat water completely until it is almost too late. In fact, don’t measure out your other ingredients or prepare for that penultimate moment where you’ll have to add everything together.
8. Remove the chocolate from the heat and scramble to add the powdered sugar, spilling it across the hot burner. Add an unknown amount of hot water until it looks like chocolate icing and is smooth.
9. Taste to test. Shrug in defeat.
10. Realize you have to cut a single-layer 9″ cake in half horizontally and that you’re on your second beverage. Say “screw it” and bake a second cake instead. More cake is better, right?
11. Assemble the cake a full day later when you are no longer frustrated by your own failings in the kitchen.
12. Spread glaze to the ends of the cake. Let it drizzle around the edges.
13. Consume entirely too much cake in one sitting.